Tim Reid’s Magical Animal Safari! Part 1
Welcome to Tim Reid’s amazing journey into animals that are just plain AWESOME!
These Animals are so filled with so many facts about animals, that your going to say “Wow, That guy knows a lot about animals!” GET READY FOR YOUR JOURNEY INTO THE AMAZING MIND OF FACTS! PART ONE! LETS ROCK AND ROLL CHILDREN!
1st - NARWHALS!
Why?
They are Narwhals! They have Swords on their heads and live under the sea! I MEAN COME ON!!!! How many animals have swords on there heads? I can only think of Unicorns! Thats not the only one I can name, just right now, all I can do is think about Unicorns, Someone help me! OH THE HUGH MANITEE! But these aren’t manitees aren’t all, they are narwhals! Narwhals have the ability to IMPALE YOU with their FACE how awesome is that? I’d bloody love to do that, its why my hair is so spikey, watch out Narwhals, when the time is right Vengeance WILL be mine.
2nd - TASIER!
Why?
They look like me when I’m on any sort of Narcotic and look like an Ewok and Gollums offspring! I wish I had a pet one. I bet they have really paranoid personalities, I would relate and we could be paranoid together, occasionally just screaming in a dark room occasionally because we might being watched.
3rd - Tapir!
Why?
They are the son of Bear, Pig and John Goodmen! I love them so, They lol at my jokes and always compliment me on my weight, I do try to keep up appearances, Oh blimey one night me and Tapir we went off to this shin dig and it was right amazing, It was, We had scones and Tapir-Food, WHICH IS MORE SCONES! They can’t get enough of ‘em!
4th - PUFFIN!
Why?
They are just so cool, you ever seen a Penguin? You remember how cute it was? WELL SCREW THAT! PUFFINS CAN BEAT THE HELL OUT OF PENGUINS! They are made of love and clouds and can shoot lasers from their tongues, They have all the Magic The Gathering cards and have made love to Sam several times! Puffins are truly awesome! They can fly at speeds that are roughly Mach 10 and Up! They beat up William Shatner and killed John Lenon! PUFFINS!! I don’t trust the bastards. The Magnificant Bastards.
In Conclusion for Part 1…
ANIMALS ARE CRAZY AS HELL
